Leaving Is Never Easy
Highway 101 Southbound
Leaving is never easy unless it is something painful. Even then, it can be hard if it is something you have held as part of yourself.
Pain and sorrow are not part of this post. Just a bit of sadness post a very relaxing and happy time with my daughter Freya in Northern California.
2 of my children are from my genetic makeup. I have 4 other children that came to me via marriage. I hope they know that they are as much my children as the other 2 are. I love them all dearly. I do believe they love me or at the least think of me fondly or with a smile.
5 of them live in Sydney and they are all of legal age now. I lived in Melbourne during the lockdown, so our times together were ridiculously small.
Zack the elder, as we have two with that name, (although only one has a ‘k’) I have not seen since pre-Covid. Zac the youngest and I have had a falling out and he does not speak to me. Actually, that is painful, so forgive me for bringing pain into this.
Cadence and Cec locked down hard during Covid as they have two young children. I have not hugged or seen them since before Covid.
Pepita is presently in Greece with her boyfriend Hugo. Freya told me she had a private part of her Instagram, so I was not seeing her pictures. She did this to keep suspect posts from parents. She is twenty-three. I messaged her and said, “I am done parenting. Let me see your travel pictures.”
She laughed and said she would add me. It has not happened yet so I will remind her.
George is the baby and I miss talking music and laughing with him. Mucho.
All my blended siblings all believe or say, I hope jokingly, that I love Freya the most.
Just for the record, that is false.
Freya and I are to put it simply, very much alike.
For example, we had a farewell brunch today. We both ordered the chicken taco salad.
We laughed anyway.
When Julie and I put this mess of kids and us together, we talked quite a bit about how it had to have longevity if we did this. We sat around with imaginary whiteboards and worked it out.
We had a good innings. It was a big love and a big family. Leaving was hard because I loved that mess.
Freya’s boyfriend is Cody and he is a good young man making his way.
2 weeks in their home was comfortable and relaxing and I felt like I was not a burden.
Driving out today I had my I-pod on shuffle and three songs came on which blew me away. Three in a row, mind you.
The first one was “Baby Don’t Cry” by Jamey Johnson. It got me sobbing.
“Via Chicago” came on next. Freya told me once she used to play that Wilco song at night as she drifted off. It must have been the studio version as the live one gets a bit wild.
Then just to put the icing on the cake, the next song was titled, “Cody, Cody” by The Flying Burrito Brothers.
Synchronicities….pay attention because they are always happening.
I want all my kids to know in their hearts and soul I would do anything for them. Any day. Any way. xx
Baby Don’t Cry-Jamey Johnson
The three little pigs have done built up their home's
And the wolf's been chased from the door
And little Bo Peep has done found all her sheep
And now she ain't lonely no more
And the monsters ain't under your bed
It's time to lay down your head
But baby don't cry
Your never alone
When you need your daddy
Just pick up the phone
And I'll fly
As fast as I can
And I'll hold your hand
And I'll make you smile again
But baby don't cry
The princess is waiting for the prince to ride in
And scare all the dragons away
But she's stuck in that castle as you close your eyes
And drift off to that fairy tale place
So pretend I'm right there by your side
And we'll save the princess tonight
But baby don't cry
Your never alone
When you need your daddy
Just pick up the phone
And I'll fly
As fast as I can
And I'll hold your hand
And I'll make you smile again
But baby don't cry
