“We go through life. We shed our skins. We become ourselves.”-Patti Smith
Spring arrived here on time. Equal part light and dark. Sunlight plays off the water.
Jogging, one foot in front of the other. My feet cushioned by the grass of the oval. Cricket season is blooming. The steamroller readies the pitch.
Johnny B. Goode echoes out of the viaduct arch. Sweet to hear that the non-profit rehearsal rooms still exist there.
How’s your Emotional Weather Report?
Overhead, overhead baggage and people glide towards the tarmac at Sydney Airport. Returning home: holidaymakers, business folk, all sorts. Every aircraft holds a million stories.
My ass will soon be jammed into a seat flying to the Left Coast of America. The land of cable cars, fog, and the bridge painted in International Orange guarding the bay.
1969 was my first time in that city by the bay. I can close my eyes and see my Uncle Bill, my Mom’s brother, whom she loved so much. He was jovial, kind and we bonded. He had a love of baseball. We saw a doubleheader with the Mets at Candlestick Park. Sunny one moment, freezing the next.
In April 1970, he came to New York for a visit and he and I went to Shea Stadium to see the Mets play the San Diego Padres. We were blessed that day with the perfect seats for what was to happen, we were 8 rows directly behind home plate.
On April 22, 1970, Seaver delivered a two-hitter against the Padres for a 2-1 win. He fanned 19 of the 31 batters he faced, including the last 10 in a row. Uncle Bill and I were ecstatic to be so close to all the action.
Uncle Bill returned to California and that was the last time I spent time with him. I believe he had a heart attack; my memory is not clear. I do know I cried a river of tears and I played this record over and over. But I always thought I would see him again.
4 weeks have passed since Paul Kelly performed in Kings Cross. Things have been happening here and everywhere. Our friend Jen left the planet for a less painful existence. I feel grief for her leaving at 62 and deep sadness for her two girls in their 20s. Having lost both of my parents at that same age, I know it takes time to work that shit out.
Jennifer Lorraine Joyner 6 February 1964 - 8 September 2026
Grief will roll out like that fog over the water. Wind. Sun. The elements will move it on. But the conversations that will never happen, the moments shared, are all in the rear-view mirror. It can be a rocky road.
Being of an age when mortality and health conversations run rampant, you have to remain positive and accept that the road does have a full stop. How we all face it will be that dance we take alone.
My brother has two valves in his heart that need replacing. He is not well, and we are not talking. My heart breaks that we may never laugh at a family story or argue over a piece of music or anything. I do miss him and love him. I’ve gone through one valve replacement. I’d love to be there for him and my sister in law.
My trip to America is not to see the seals in San Francisco. I am stopping there to celebrate Nello’s Birthday. Music is on the agenda at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass and we will dance and boogie in Golden Gate Park.
New York is my final (and primary) destination to be with my sister and brother-in-law. Rick is dealing with Parkinson’s, and I need to be with them for a bit. My heart is pulling me there, for him and for my sister, who I love like air. I come with love and joy and laughter and a helping hand.
Old friends, old haunts, Umberto’s Pizza and more memories filling my head like a water hose I can’t turn off. These memories do not bring me sadness. Instead, I consider myself lucky to have them all. Making more and more for as long as the sun shines.
Good and Bad.
Yin and Yang.
There is so much synchronicity happening. Connections to the past and how my family has moved with grief and death. Being in other places when people close to us have left the building rumbles around my consciousness.
Following my heart is easy. There is no other direction to take. Eastward bound.
I won’t miss this continent. I will miss Tina. My idiot in life. My love.
Spring will disappear with my flight. Leaves will be putting on a show up above the equator.
The world keeps turning.
So, yeah, enjoy the playlist of new music. I will see some of you soon.
Album recommendations from this list are: Ray Wylie Hubbard/Jayhawks/The Third Mind/Dominique Fils-Amie/Shearwater and Jim James. Get your ears on! Oh yea, don’t forget to sit and listen to the NEW NEIL YOUNG RECORD…..it’s fabulous.
I will see some of you soon.
And yeah….fuck this AI Shit!
https://open.qobuz.com/playlist/70717978 Qobuz Link
My Mom passed in 1974 in NY after my brother had moved to Australia.
3 of us were there for that moment.
In 1982 my Dad died at my brothers house in Australia.
1 of us was there and the other 3 were in NY.
My brother is having his Open Heart Surgery on my Mom’s birthday on October 7th.
3 of us will be in NY on that date. 1 will not.
I am not really certain what that all means….numbers add up to nothing….but something seems to be bothering me about all of this.