Life is a constant integration of your experiences and learnings. Something you read or learned moons ago may come up again and understanding will be revealed. You live long enough, if you are given the beauty of time, you get to revisit moments that impacted you and re-evaluate them through the lens of (hopefully) a wiser elder.
It’s good to pay attention as you meander down the path of life. Yes, there will be times when your attention is not focused on one particular thing. Life gets busy and at times you have to step back and breathe.
Been talking about DMT a bit lately and how my times with the plants that contain this molecule have altered my chemistry. The beauty of hallucinations and the struggle through the physical reaction of plant medicine will always be recalled. That is not where the learning is. The teaching comes from integrating what you were shown and what you experienced.
Or on Qobuz….at this link…https://open.qobuz.com/playlist/44230051
One example that stays with me was when I was sitting in Acaciaville, towards the end of an afternoon, wrapped in the arms of the acacia. I was with my friends Joe and Julie and they had gone inside to get some nourishment while I vibrated on the deck. This was the end of a journey that had opened up my heart. This was not something I had been seeking, this was being set out in front of me by this medicine.
Love was always in my heart but this was about 4-5 months after my marriage had dissolved. I was not drinking this medicine with the intent to heal. It was intentional experimentation with hopes I would be shown something. I knew there was healing going on after my first journey with acacia.
Joe and Jules were vibrating with warmth that night, and it burst through their complicated relationship. There was healing happening there, healing that would not last, but it reverberated. I can close my eyes now and see and feel that setting sun. The golden colour seeped into my being and I knew that all was going to be alright. Yes, everything is alright and has always been alright. This simple mantra has been part of me for decades.
Tears ran down my face and I smiled. I nodded at the sky, said some words, a blessing, and felt the universe hug me. I sat in silence as the light faded, smoked a cigarette and said “Thank You”.
Sharing these stories here and when people ask me about ayahuasca/acacia continues to enlighten me. This is what integration is all about on a personal level. I also hope they help people understand my journey with these plants. I don’t evangelise like I used to when I felt everyone had to drink this medicine. Sharing now is a bit more delicate, as delicate as this ‘moose’ of a man can be.
The 6th of January 2023 was the last time I communed with the acacia. There is a calling again. Intellectually, I have been thinking of taking a journey all of 2025, but set and setting seem to have been avoiding me. I had one, then the other, but never had they aligned. It is a rule I learned about at a young age and I know not to break it.
Soon to come will be tales about the online garden of plant people and the like, my attendance at Rebel Herbal in 2019, and further stories from beyond the armchair.
Today, I want to say farewell to the spot on the Central Coast of New South Wales where Acacaiville is rooted The house and garden will still exist in some form, but ownership has changed. I will miss the frogs and the plants and the trees flowing and breathing in the wind.
As we all know, change is the constant.
Acaciaville will always be a part of my journey. Thanks to all whom I spent time with there, and many thanks to my compadre, Jose.
Love you, PB