Change Of Seasons Or....
Is It Healing?
Sentences are difficult to come up with. They come out of my face easily. Sitting in front of a laptop takes a little more concentration than I have right now. I have the desire to write but…..
I’m sleeping more hours than usual and in bed for 10 hours.
Mojo, motivation, and energy are not at my beck and call.
Atypical for sure.
Everything seems like a chore.
I’ve been up for an hour and I could easily lie down again.
It’s 4 weeks since I came down with my 3rd time lucky with Covid. Camping in Arnhem Land there was nowhere to care for how Covid made me feel. Thinking it was the flu for a day I turned my tent into a sweat lodge.
When I awoke on the 2nd or 3rd day feeling average I could not taste the food processed for the gathering. Not a bad thing as I was tired of powders eggs and bacon for brekkie. I am not complaining about the food or anything about the gathering at Gulkula.
I have memories that will be with me forever.
Even without a test, I knew what was going on with my health.
It was not until the 7th of August in Cairns that the line of Covid no longer showed.
It’s only a few weeks ago now but it feels like months.
My plan from August 11 until 6 October was to exercise, walk, do yoga, and help my heart and body recuperate from my aortic valve surgery.
Fuck, that’s not what has happened. I started to do some jogging that had to be put to rest for now. Yoga has seen me in 2 classes.
Walking has been good and the beaches are my happy place.
In short, my recuperation has been two-fold. My heart surgery and Covid on top of it.
Yeah, I am a patient again.
I am finding it frustrating.
Finding myself a bit impatient.
Yes, I know my powers of recovery are not like they were when I was a younger human.
Patience.
But yes, it’s been a year of learning that aging is a reality when it comes to this “body”.
To top it off Tina has pneumonia at the same time and we are 90 minutes away from each other.
We are apart and although a bit of time alone is sweet this has been too much.
Damn, how important are cuddles to you? I tell ya they are to me.
After 3 months of recuperating from my surgery, I wanted my health to be a positive light.
What a whinge this is.
Jesus, there are many more people with harder health battles to fight.
It’s here for me to learn something. I know that.
It’s not a new way of living but it’s an understanding that the energiser bunny Busch has to accept downtime that will occur in the twilight years.
And I take joy in knowing that I’ve been able to hold it together long enough to write this down.
To concentrate and not feel like my seams are coming apart and all my insides are leaking out.
Neil Young and Crazy Horse took a break from their tour back in June due to health reasons. The reasons at the time were vague. Neil has just come out this week and said:
“I was doing great and we were moving right along,” Young said. “Everybody’s loving the shows. Then I just woke up one morning on the bus and I said, ‘I can’t do this. I gotta stop.’ It was like I felt sick when I thought of going on stage. My body was telling me, ‘You gotta stop.’ So I listened to my body. Then it gets into all the legal matters: ‘You got this, you got that, people bought tickets, they did this, they did that.’ I understand that. What matters to me is the art of playing, and the music. That’s what matters. That’s what people loved. That’s what they come to see. But if that’s not there, me going is not happening. My body told me to not do it.”
Neil has been my co-pilot for decades and his words ring true.
You have to listen to your body sometimes.
I thought I was listening.
Just after writing this I received a text message from my daughter, Freya, wishing me a Happy Dads Day. I decided to send her a little video of me being silly.
Here it is:
Yes, I can hear you….GROW UP!
It’s a shame I turned the video off because the moment I stopped recording I lost my balance and crashed the right side of my upper ribs into the side of a hardwood dining table.
I will be OK. My middle name is Moose.
Ice helps.
Yes, I will listen with a bit more awareness.
Happy Father’s Day!
PS-Just after I fell over Ginger, my sister, sent me this photo.
She slipped on a throw rug and broke her ankle in 3 places.
Sweet Baby Cheeses….if you are a Busch at the moment, take care.